Jordan Brock

Stockholm and the missing ugly people

So, we were wandering around relatively aimlessly today, when it slowly began to dawn on us that there was something wrong with the crowds of people in Stockholm. It took us a while, but then we realised what was bugging us. There are no ugly people in this city. Not one. Well, maybe one now that I’m here, but otherwise not a skerrick of ugliness to be found.

p. Shop assistants, people on the street, coffee shop workers: hell, even the homeless people (all three of them) are at worst plain looking. It’s very strange. Kind of like walking around with no one but Stepford children to be seen. (And yes, a large number of them are blonde … and some even have pigtails.) One other thing to note: lot’s of mullets (the haircuts that is … not the fish), so all of you who doubted me when I said the mullet is back (namely you Dave) I say “Hah”

p. Other than be flabbergasted at the all round gorgeousness of the population, we’ve been astounded and quite often astounded and amazed at how beautiful the buildings and the city itself is. I suppose that it’s only right that the scenery is attractive: to have beautiful people in a concrete block wonderland just wouldn’t be right. Wonderful old buildings, funky new ones, museums that could be just exhibit the buildings themselves and a stunning river through the middle of it all make a stunning city.

p. Speaking of the river, we walked across it today. Without a bridge. It has frozen solid in parts, and we strolled across a stretch of about 800 metres. Quite exhilarating, particularly when Caren walked across a bit and a crack was heard. Made us walk a bit faster I can tell you.

p. We also think we’ve solved the mystery of the babies as well. As some of you may know, Sweden is quite a socialist state: lots of government payments, support networks etc etc. (Massive tax rates as well, but I suppose you have to expect that.) So, it appears that new mothers get a fair whack of cash for having the baby (probably not as a lump sum, but you never know!), which allows them to stay at home and raise the kid. Of course, they don’t stay at home. They all seem to do nothing apart from walk around with the kids looking dangerously cute in beanies and mittens in particularly expensive looking prams.

p. I suppose that’s all that’s happened today. Oh, we went to the National Museum. Which was nice. Lot’s of cool industrial design stuff, including the funkiest damn microwave you’ve ever seen. Of course, it was made in 1964 so it probably cooked your brain while it was defrosting the chicken, but at least it added that bit of class to your kitchen. I’d show you a photo, but we weren’t allowed to take a camera in.

p. Speaking of photos, I don’t think I’ll be able to upload any until Philadelphia next weekend. Not many of the internet cafe’s seem particularly keen on me loading photos onto their computers. So, that may just have to wait.

p. That’s it. And just because I can, here’s some more of those whacky Swedish characters: ?, ?. heheheh.